Hey April. WTF? I was seriously excited to see you, but so far, you suck. I mean, except for yesterday when it was 70 degrees for like 10 minutes. But I was at an indoor birthday party with my 6-year-old, so guess what? I still think you suck!
Come on. Be cool! Don’t be all like, uncool. (I’m taking my cues from the Countess. We both like to day drink, so I consider her a close friend. Not a friend who I actually know in real life, but stop being so judgy! Like you KNOW all YOUR friends. I mean, that’s like the whole basis of social media.)
Anyway, thanks to Facebook, not only do I get to relive my awkward preteen years, I’m also getting a chance to relive every insignificant daily post I’ve ever shared.
Ah, Facebook! How did you know I’d want to remember the stupid shit I told my “friends” exactly one-to-eight years ago today? Now I know all y’all don’t believe a scribe like myself would ever compose anything but elegant prose that generations will study long after I’m in the ground, but trust me, comments such as:
Learned from my kids that Passover has something to do with cleaning, so I shaved above the knee today…
might be best forgotten, no?
Maybe I just wanted the masses to know body hair isn’t kosher for Passover? Not sure what my intention was on 4/4/15, but fortunately, the holiday isn’t celebrated until the end of April this year, so grow on thigh pricklies, grow on!
In the meantime, here are a few more historical Facebook references from the genius that is Jo Aaron: