Today, we’re talking about bathroom etiquette and not of the parent-child training variety.
Here’s the deal:
I spend about 85% of my life at Starbucks. You might think I’m embarrassed about that but I’m so not. It’s warm (in Chicago, I need a place to take shelter from the freezing temps of May), it’s friendly (the SB I work/live at is about .02 miles from my kids’ school, I know every third person who comes through the door), and they have coffee.
If I have to explain that last one, you clearly don’t know what it’s like to live with a java-addiction. Get down with your big, bad caffeine-free self. Go you.
The other thing they have at my favorite Starbucks (besides a free parking lot, which is EVERYTHING!) is a relatively clean bathroom. Ok, do not start posting comments that you sat on the seat and something bad happened to your downstairs area. I do NOT want to hear about it.
What I am saying is the Starbucks staff keeps the bathroom nice and tidy. Said washroom also requires a key. Thankfully.
To the woman who rolled her eyes at me when I said no thank you when you offered to return the bathroom key to the wall where it hangs, as I walked in to the restroom after you came out, let me explain why I refused your services.
If you return the key while I’m in there, it is as if the bathroom is unoccupied and available for someone to just pop on in as I squat over the seat. Now, I don’t want that happening in front of a stranger, do I honey? Even my 5 and 7-year-olds understand that.
However it took you, a 30-something woman, what I felt to be extensive explanation about why it wasn’t really a big deal for you to do it…as I stood with my legs crossed and my bladder filled to the brim with a gigantic Venti blonde roast.
I just wanted to make in peace. Honestly, I get to go to the bathroom by myself so rarely, that I kind of cherish the hours that my kids are in school to do so and don’t expect that I’ll have to spar with a grown woman about how to accomplish that. Just let mama pish, umkay?
So to recap, a hanging key on the wall means that the bathroom is available for anyone to enter. No key, no pee. Got it?
Seriously, do I have to potty train everyone?