It So Cold, You Can’t Tell How Hot I Am!

Polar Vortex, Winter, Coat, Freezing, Cold
This Is How I Feel All Winter

Yes people, it’s officially winter.

Well, not according to the calendar, but if 12 degrees outside means fall to you, then we are not on the same page. You’re going to have to face reality–it’s freezing and that means two things:

1. All anyone will be talking about until about Memorial Day will be how freaking cold it is outside. 

2. No one will know how adorable I look because my carefully curated outfits will be hidden underneath a huge winter coat that makes me look like the little brother from A Christmas Story.

It’s so sad, it almost makes me want to wear pajamas everyday from now until no-coat-weather. My husband would be so happy to hear that, I can almost imagine his eyes lighting up when he thinks about saving all that money on me not shopping for winter clothes. IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN HONEY! I said it makes me want to do it. I didn’t say I was going to do it! Jeez. I’m cold, not stupid.

But back to the subject of Chiberia. Or the Polar Vortex. Or whatever the weather people are calling it this year. It’s already the only thing everyone can speak of, and I mean everyone. The check out woman at Target. “It’s cold out there, isn’t it?” The check out man at Whole Foods. “Can you believe this weather?” My favorite barista at Starbucks. “How you handling the weather?”

Well, I’ll tell you how I’m handling the weather, Mr. Barista.

I’m freezing my tush off. I’m having daily brawls with my kids to try to get them to put all of their winter gear on to get them out of the house on time for school. I can’t find a winter coat that covers enough of my body so I don’t freeze to death without looking like I never lost my baby weight after finally losing my baby weight. I worry everyday that my kids are going to forget to put their gloves on at recess and get frostbite and end up in the hospital and I’ll end up in jail for that or in the poor house because they’ve already lost two pairs of gloves each and it’s only been one week of cold weather so I’m thinking of investing in a glove company so at least we’ll get them for free. I wonder how long it will be before there is a massive snowfall and my kids make me go outside to build a snowman which I totally hate because playing in the snow sucks but I live for my kids and I like being fun mommy.

Does that answer your question? Just give me my fucking coffee.

However in the meantime, after working through all of that, the sad truth is that I’m still semi-dressed up under my snowman-esque coat, not that you can tell.

That’s because I’ve become addicted to Talia Hancock’s Camille LeggingsYoga Pants, Leggings,

When a friend teased me a few months ago that all I wear is workout clothes everyday, my friends at Talia Hancock helped me make a wardrobe change. I had seen Kourtney Kardashian wearing their Michele Leggings and she looked awesome, so I tried their Camilles. I wanted a one-piece, full length legging instead of a convertible capri because unfortunately, it’s chilly where I run errands unlike in Kourtney Kardashian, pregnancy, maternityKourt’s hometown. The fold-over waist on the Camille can be pulled down to look like a skirt and the zippers at the ankles are perfect for freezing cold winters (if we must still talk weather) so they can easily accommodate boots or, someday if there is ever grass on the ground again, normal shoes.

When I tell you that I’ve gotten more compliments on these super-soft leggings, I am not lying. And because my big ol’ coat only hits below my behind, these compliments have come even when I’m all bundled up. As the K-Krew would say, “Bible!”

My favorite shoes to pair with my Camille leggings are the Sorel Joan of Arctic Wedge Mid Waterproof City Boots. Actually, my own crew (spelled correctly) will tell you that my Sorel Joan of Arctic Wedges are my favorite boots towinter boots, sorel pair with just about anything anytime of year. I think they are good looking, comfortable, and man, oh, man are they warm. I’ve own other Sorels, and these unlined booties kick my mannish, heavy boots butts. I’m just saying.

They aren’t easy to find because they are awesome but nothing worth owning should be easy to find. Just remember that. I just tracked down an Alexander McQueen coat in my size in London because there wasn’t one in the United States. Desperate? Totally. Worth it? Absolutely. Except it didn’t fit, it was super expensive, and I didn’t keep it. Ha!

So the moral of the story? Maybe you shouldn’t listen to me and leave all of the good Sorel boots in my size for me to buy. Oh, jeez, stop rolling your eyes, husband!

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