When Nature Calls Your Kid

potty training, kids, parenting

My son peed on a tree today at a park. Someone call the cops!

When nature called, I let my son commit a crime against nature, and I must be punished.

Well at least the crotchety old beotch a nanny at the park thinks I should.

So here’s the incident. My son had to go to the bathroom. We were at a park that admittedly has a very nice bathroom inside a little building on the grounds, but we were minutes from making it to the toilet and seconds from an accident. I made an on the fly decision to grab my son by the hand and run him to the nearest, yet out-of-the-way tree, and let it flow.

Now let’s remember, we’re talking about a 4-year old’s pee pee-it’s made up of about 95% filter water. It would barely attract a fly, let alone stink enough to repulse a park full of people.

But for one park-goer, it was beyond atrocious, because before I could even get back to watching my daughter, who was waiting on the playground with our friends, the previously mentioned witch woman came over to bawl me out for letting my kid relieve himself outside. And I mean, she let me have it.

Oh yeah, did I mention that she did all of her ranting about my kid in front of my sweet, smiling kid?

I stupidly assumed that I’d be able to explain our near-accident situation, one caregiver to another, and move on. But instead, this person couldn’t wait to tell me how disgusting and inappropriate it was for other kids, “to have to SEE THAT.” By that she meant a 4-year old making pee pee.

Ok, I’m here to announce that I, Jo Aaron, personally think that seeing a toddler (and yes, age counts in this situation) pee on a tree is the least offensive thing in the world. Especially when I live in a world that pays people like Snooki and J-Woww to write books.

Now that’s offensive.

In the meantime, the older nasty bitch woman went ahead and reported us to the office at the park. A worker came out to speak with me and I explained that, no, we weren’t intending to use the park as a toilet, and yes, we would, in future, use the bathroom if we could get there before an accident ensues. Fortunately that was all the discussion the park district employee required.

Unfortunately, the victim of our crime was not satisfied and continued complaining about us to the office when my daughter and I entered the building, coincidentally, to use the bathroom.

At that point, I figured it was my turn to let her have it.

So I did.

And although I was the one who ended up in tears behind my sunglasses, it still felt good to unleash my inner, stressed-out-mommy beast on her.

So knowing that I would have much preferred to give my son his complete privacy, prove that he really is potty trained, and not be called a “horrible mother who purposely humiliated her son by making him pee outside” by a nasty stranger, what would you have done?

And for the record, I didn’t have extra clothes with me, if that makes a difference.

2 thoughts on “When Nature Calls Your Kid

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