Our Dogs Bark, but Who Cares?

I’m a shoe girl. I love them. I know, I know. Who doesn’t? I’m not so unique when it comes to this obsession, but I know what I like, and them be shoes!

Last night, I played hostess in 5-inch heels. I cooked, baked, served and mingled for hours on end for a pretty large group in shoes fit for a celebutant who only need walk from the limo to the red carpet and back. But I have dozens and dozens of these pedi-torture chambers and apparently, I am super big into S&M when it comes to my footwear.

Just because I had to slip the black patent leather beauties off about 3 hours into the evening, giving away my true vertical identity (from almost 5’8 alway down to almost 5’3), doesn’t mean that I won’t pop right back into them the next time I’m not wearing sweats or doing my weekly trip to Target-actually, those two things typically go hand-in-hand, but that’s neither here nor there.

Like most men, my husband thinks I’m completely insane for wearing my put-me-up-with-the-big-girls-heels regularly. He’d have absolutely no problem seeing me in an evening gown with a pair of really solid gym shoes. He’d actually appreciate it for the practicality of my choice. After all, in comfortable gymmies, I’d definitely be willing to walk a few blocks from a street parking spot instead of insisting on city-priced valet service.

But, sadly for him, like most women, I think heels are pretty, make my legs look good, and put me at the height I swear I should have been…come on guys, who among you wouldn’t suffer for a couple more inches?

One of my favorite “me time” activities is online Windows (get it?) shopping. I scan sites like Neiman Marcus, Ssense (my fave!), and Net-a-Porter for the latest in all things wedge, pumps, sandals, or boots.

Recently, while I was drooling over a must-have pair of Pradas, it occurred to me that decades from now, when anthropologists study women of today, they will most likely laugh at us the same way we mock the crazy ladies who wore corsets so tight they couldn’t breathe.

I mean, a small waist is a nice thing, but these days, women seem more likely to covet Madonna-like, manish arms, abs like the ones Janet Jackson usually has hand painted on her, and, of course, legs that go on for miles. And while clothes can’t begin to chisel your biceps or tighten your tummy, a good pair of crazy-high skin colored stilettos can make your legs look amaze-balls!

If you don’t believe me, slip on a pair of  nude leather YSL Trib Too Platform Pumps. I wouldn’t lie about something this serious.

So go ahead, my children’s children’s children, and laugh away! Because what seems silly to you is fashion to me…and I’m not giving up my shoes, no matter how much my feet hurt!

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